Whenever people bring up being offended I have only two things that come to mind, and even then it really isn't that big of deal. Well, Saturday I added a third.
First offense happened a while ago. A gal I knew was really struggling if she should give up her business to be a stay at home mom. She came to me for advice, and I told her what I thought. She came to visit me a few weeks later to tell me her decision. She felt she was just too smart to only be a stay at home mom. Gee, thanks. But, I can laugh about it. Now.
Another time someone whom I really do love dearly said this, "I think it's really cool that you don't care about that big blue vein on the side of your face." Me, how fast can I get to a mirror to see what she's talking about. I had no idea it was there before, but I can tell you I see it (almost) every time I look in the mirror now. (I still don't try to cover it up...too much time and effort). Nothing to really be offended over.
Well, Saturday's might take just a minute more to get over. I was sitting by myself at a bridal shower the other day. It was fine that I was alone. I was writing down the gifts and givers as she tore open her millions of presents. I felt totally fine about how the whole day was going. Most of the people at the shower knew one another, but one lady didn't recognize me. She sat down beside me and asked, "So, are you the mother-in-law?" Heaven help me if I look old enough to be a mother-in-law. Once she got a good look at me she realized I was not quite that old and apologized profusely. Even saying that 'now she'd always be the lady that asked if I was the mother-in-law'. I said, well, I'd probably blog about it, but I'd be sure to say how nice she was after. And she really was. If I don't write for a while it's because I'll be so busy: I have to go get botox and buy some hair dye and get a new wardrobe and pick up a box of self esteem...
Monday, March 1, 2010
Offended
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15 comments:
Um, you have a blue vein on the side of your face? I've never noticed it. Maybe I've just been to busy admiring your cute hair cut ;)
I know exactly how you feel! I was asked one time if I was my mother-in-law's sister! I tried to tell my self she just looks really good for her age, but even if she looks 10 years younger that still puts me looking 15 years older! ugh....what's a girl to do!
I did read a quote just last week that said offense can never be taken it can only be given....
But, even with that said I still don't want to look 15 years past my age! :)
It's just proof that too often we speak without thinking..just like you said, once she LOOKED at you and put THOUGHT into her words, she knew she was wrong. She's probably blogging about it right now about how mortified she was when she mistakenly called a cute, peppy, young, full of life woman an old empty nester...Not as bad, though, as asking if someone is pregnant who isn't...that will always win the cake, right?
Oh no!!! At least you are secure enough in yourself to share it with us. :D
And have such a good sense of humor to let it all slide off your back.
That is so funny! Wait til you get my age and can remember when YOU were the one who said something stupid.
I'm with Roxy- you have a blue vein on the side of your face?? I've never noticed! And I think you know you are TOO smart to listen to people that say things like that :)!
is it offensive if laughed because of this post? I love your blog. As I type this my youngest child is touching a mole on my face and saying I hope I never get one of these.
We really do let these little things slip into our minds. I know because when everyone at Disneyland kept saying that we didn't look old enough to be married 10 years it was a huge boost for me. Likewise, I hate that I obviously look so much older than the age I already hate. Wish it could roll of just a little smoother. And atleast no one has ever demeaned your spirituality. SHeesh!
Well, I have that front tooth that I see EVERY time I look in the mirror...I always become a little more self conscious when some one says WOW your tooth is dark!!!
I gave a talk at the nursing home sacrament meeting Sunday and a younger lady came up and told me that "all the old people enjoyed it"....hmmm? Just have to laugh!
That being said, the words hair dye and new wardrobe caught my eye. You know I'm a sucker for those things! Let's get the party started!:)
Love you!
I’ve been thinking about your “offended” post. I try to remember what Confucious says, “He who takes offense when none is intended is a fool, he who takes offense when offense is intended is a bigger fool.” I hope others will remember his words, too.
I have to share my MOST EMBARRASSING offending comment. It happened over thirty years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday.
My sister-in-law, Amy, was taking an art class. My mother-in-law and another sister-in-law were going to her house to visit and asked if I wanted to go. I agreed. On the way to her house, they told me that the reason for our trip was to see a picture Amy had just sketched for a homework assignment. It was an assignment on drawing nudes. Well, I know little about art, but I know the art department hires people to come in and serve as scantily clothed models for students to paint. I wasn’t too excited to be seeing a picture of a nude. We got to Amy’s house, visited for a while, and then she brought out her sketch. It was of a naked woman with a small naked child who was standing next to the woman, with her hand on the adult’s leg for support. They were positioned to be as modest as possible (for nudes). The child was pudgy and cute, but the woman was over-weight with a protruding stomach – like some of the pictures you see from the 1700’s. I was curious about the artistic choice of a subject, and I said something like, “Why didn’t you pick a slim, attractive model to sketch?” At that point, my other sister-in-law gasped and said, “Vicki, this is a self-portrait. She drew herself.” ARGGG!
So now, when someone says something they wished they wouldn’t have – I have infinite compassion for their situation.
Thanks for bloggin with such a great sense of humor. I have been on both ends of the stick. I've been the thoughtless flake that has those foot-in-the-mouth moments when you think to yourself: "Did that just come out of my mouth?"
And I've been the person on the other end that gets asked when their baby is due when my baby is 11 months old. "No! I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat thankyou very much you big jerk!".....Woops, did that just come out of my mouth? :)
LOL!!! What blue vein? You a mother-in-law! LOL!!! When I was 15 some punk teenagers asked if my 3 younger sisters were my kids! I wanted to crawl under a rock. It happens to everyone!
Great blog post. Maybe it should be shared in newspapers all across America, because it seems that every time we turn around someone is offended by something and then we have to come up with something politically correct so we don't offend anyone else. I think anyone can be offended by anything if you're looking for it... and you can also not let anything offend you - as you have shown. Thanks!
Ouch,ouch, and ouch! Ummm, you are one of the smartest people I know, I never noticed a blue vein, and ....Huh?, you don't look that old!
Twice I've been asked when I was due when I wasn't, I just have a big belly and, no, you can't rub it for good luck.
I've developed a thick skin thanks to 12 years with that man of mine.
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